Beyond the Mask
by XGuestX
Summary: Light's descent into madness as he takes the world's greatest detective down with him.


**Another Death Note fic! Takes place after the Yotsuba Arc, about episode 24 or so. Kinda based off a dream I had so it's pretty** **weird. Rated M for strong language and suicide triggers.**

* * *

"Ryuzaki, I need to talk to you," Light said, his quiet voice magnified by the empty room. L looked up from his computer, where he had been working.

"Light-kun, what are you doing here? It's two in the morning, I thought you had gone home hours ago."

"I did, but I couldn't sleep. Or more accurately, I had nightmares that kept me up."

"And Light-kun thinks talking to me will calm him down? Very well. Take a seat." L said, and motioned to one of the desk chairs near him. "So what are these dreams about, Light-kun? They must be really be bothering Light-kun for him to have come all the way to headquarters."

"Well," Light started, sounding uncharacteristically uncertain. "Most of them I don't remember, but there is one that I can't get out of my head." He paused and looked at the detective, who simply nodded for him to go on. "It's of you, L."

"Ryuzaki, please." The dark-haired man corrected Light instinctively. The teen ignored him and continued,

"You were lying on the ground, and I don't know if you were dead or asleep. But what bothered me most is that you were bruised and covered in blood."

L looked horrified at what he was hearing, but the younger man didn't seem to notice and kept describing what he had seen, his almond-shaped eyes filled with a strange fascination that frightened the detective. "It stained your white shirt and your hair was sticky, matted together. But the worst was your face, it felt so cold, and was so pale. And there was a strong metallic smell tha-"

"Light-kun! Stop!" L stared at the teen, his dark eyes wide with shock. "I don't know much about dreams, but even I know this is a serious issue."

"Is it?" Light asked the dark-haired man, looking up at him with wild eyes. "I had no idea," he said softly. L felt a chill as he realized he was unable to tell if Light was being serious or sarcastic. It was very strange for the usually calm and mild mannered teen.

"I think Light-kun should talk to a doctor," L said, trying to fight back in the only way he could: with reason. It just didn't make sense, Light never acted like this, it just wasn't who he was.

"Hmm, not a bad idea." Light seemed to consider the idea before he continued, "But actually, I doubt that's needed. In fact, the problem will most likely fix itself." It was like he had become a completely different person. Light Yagami had reverted back to his normal self in the blink of an eye. It was as if the mask he normally wore had slipped, but now he had it back under control.

"I should go," Light said abruptly. "Goodnight, Ryuzaki, try to get some sleep okay?" He said and he smiled his perfect smile as he left. But L wasn't fooled, he knew that he had finally seen a bit of what the teen was truly like.

"Goodnight, Light-kun," L murmured into his tea, but the younger man was too far away to hear him. L knew he wouldn't sleep, but he would have something to think about. For the first time he had seen Light as the teen truly was, without his mask in place, and he had a suspicion that he would do so again.

* * *

It was more than a week before Light visited again.

"Light-kun," L said, this time spotting the younger man as he entered. After taking a sip of tea, he continued, "Have your dreams been getting bet-" and stopped when he saw Light's face. It was shiny with tears and his almond-shaped eyes were still red from crying.

"Ryuzaki, I-I had another dream," Light croaked out as he sat down across from the dark-haired man. "It was about you, again." L was silent, watching the teen with wide eyes. He had never seen Light cry before, and it almost felt like an invasion of the teen's privacy. Not that L cared much for privacy, but there was something wrong about seeing Light's face so clearly stained with tears.

"You were standing in a room," Light started, his voice breaking the uncomfortable silence. "White walls, of course," he said almost mockingly. "And you weren't wearing a shirt." the younger man added, almost as an afterthought. L blinked in surprise, this was something that didn't seem to fit with the profile he was drawing of the true Light Yagami, but then again, he had very little evidence gathered so far.

"There was one other thing as well," Light said before the detective could interrupt with a question. "You were holding a gun, and you spoke," Light looked up, his brown eyes meeting the older man's dark ones. "You said, 'I can't take it anymore' and you shot yourself in the head. Your blood, it stained the-" he stopped and swallowed, "Oh L, it was horrible."

"I can imagine," L said softly, unsure of how to comfort the teen. He noted that the true Light Yagami was a man who quite possibly wanted L dead. It could be a serious problem if L didn't handle it with the utmost care.

"It was all over the walls, your blood, I mean. The walls, they were so red. T-that's when I woke up."

"Light-kun, I think it is time to see a doctor about these dreams. They are not good for Light-kun. I can have Watari find Light-kun someone who will keep it a secret. No one needs to know, neither Light-kun's family nor Misa-san."

"She knows something's wrong," Light said mournfully. "I don't know why this keeps happening. But it started right after we caught Higuchi. Perhaps it as has something to do with the shinigami or the death note."

"That seems….unlikely," L said, his mind quickly going through the percentages. "No one else on the investigation team has complained of such a problem. Could it be because you're Kira?" L said, and he watched his former suspect closely to see if the teen would give anything away. Light stiffened, and then he surprised the dark-haired man when he laughed. It sounded natural enough, but with Light, the detective could never tell.

"Are you still worried about that, Ryuzaki?" Light teased, mask back in place. "Could it be because you keep suspecting me of being Kira? Maybe that is what has caused these dreams."

"No," L sighed. "Light-kun never had these dreams, when in confinement and while we were handcuffed, he never showed signs of such nightmares. These dreams seem to be a more recent development, starting when the Higuchi case was closed." L bit his thumb thoughtfully and said, "Perhaps the Kira power transferring back to you is what has caused the onset of your…condition."

Light's eyes glinted, he was back in familiar territory. "But Ryuzaki, what about the thirteen day rule? If I had been Kira before confinement then I would not be alive now."

"I know, and that is what bothers me, Light-kun. I was once positive that you were Kira but now…" the detective stopped talking, apparently deep in thought.

"Don't worry, I'm sure we'll catch Kira soon!" Light smiled, his voice oozing with a fakeness that only the detective could only now hear. Had he not noticed it before?

"I should return home, it's late," Light added.

"It is," L agreed as he turned back to his computer. "Goodbye, Light-kun," the detective said as Light left him alone once again.

* * *

Three weeks had passed before Light stumbled back into the task force headquarters.

"What is it this time, Light-kun?" L asked, irritated at the younger man for distracting him from his work once again. He had been in the process of solving a minor case.

"I had another dream," Light said, and there was a slight slur to his speech that made L look up from his computer and observe the other man closely. His suspicions were confirmed when Light gave him an ugly smirk, and L stared as he realized what had happened. Light had completely dropped the mask that he always wore. The mask that hid his true feelings with polite smiles and intelligent conversation. The mask that only L had been allowed to see past before.

"Hello, L," Light said as he stopped in front of the detective's chair, reeking of alcohol. L noticed that the teen's almond-shaped eyes were bloodshot, he had once again been crying. Whatever had happened, it would have had to been truly horrible. Light Yagami was not the kind of man to drink.

"Perhaps Light-kun should go home. He is intoxicated and not himself. I am sure Light-kun's family will take care of him, " L said, knowing full well that Light wouldn't leave.

"I'M PERFECTLY FINE!" screamed Light, shocking the detective with the pure emotion in his words. In his fit of anger, Light grabbed the detective and threw him from his chair. Before the dark-haired man could react, Light pulled L to his feet and shoved him against a wall, bashing L's head against it, as if it would make him understand. "I'm perfectly fine," he said said in a softer voice as he looked at L, with eyes that appeared strangely red in the dark lighting of the room.

"Light, do you want me to listen to your dream again?" L ventured, his head spinning as he stared at Light with wide frightened eyes. While they had fought before, it had never been serious, but in Light's current state, L wasn't sure what would happen. He could get seriously injured.

"Yes," Light whispered so quietly that L had to lean in to hear him, recoiling at the strong smell of alcohol. "Last night, I had a dream that we were in a bed together," Light said and L swallowed nervously, not liking where this was heading. The teen just smiled, and the anger faded from his features, replaced instead with a look of cruelty. "And I was fucking you so hard the bed shook," Light said crudely.

"Light, I don't think this is-" L's voice shook as tried unsuccessfully to back out from behind Light's arms that still pinned him to the wall.

"I don't care what you think, L," Light said, mocking the detective's alias. "You are going to listen to my dream," he said, with an unspoken threat hidden beneath his words.

L stared into the teen's auburn eyes, still with that strange red tint. He noticed that Light's pristine hair was unruly for once, as if he hadn't taken the time to groom himself.

"And then something strange happened," Light said as he moved closer to L and whispered directly in his ear, "The room we were in burst into flames, and we died screaming. You screamed the loudest." His lips were now touching the detective's ear, and L felt the teen smile at his obvious discomfort. The dark-haired man's heart pounded in his ears and he felt sure that Light could hear it.

"What do want Light?" L said, then he surprised the younger man by slipping under his arms and out of his grasp.

L was in control again. The detective could now continue his private investigation on the true Light Yagami. Light smiled, apparently not irritated in the least that L had escaped his grasp.

"I bet you taste sweet," Light said, and with alarming speed he grabbed the detective and quickly covered L's mouth with his own. Light kissed L slowly and with a surprising tenderness, as if he had been waiting to do this for a long time. His mouth tasted of alcohol and L was once again reminded that the other man was not hiding under his mask, he was acting as himself even if he was quite drunk. L shoved the teen away, and was once again surprised when the younger man didn't resist. He stood a few feet from the dark-haired man, his piercing almond-shaped eyes staring triumphantly at the detective, his mouth in that ugly smirk that L was starting to get used to. This was the true Light's smile, not that little laugh he would put on when he needed to fool others.

"Even better than I imagined," Light said, interrupting the detective's thoughts. "I would guess it's from all that candy you-"

"Why are you doing this, Light?" L burst out, angry that the teen would just go on as if he hadn't done anything wrong.

"Why, because I love you," Light said, and L was shocked to see that the younger man was telling the truth. He wasn't' hiding anymore, wasn't lying through his teeth.

Light took a step forward and once again cupped L's face with his hands. This time the detective didn't resist, he found that he was unwillingly attracted to the younger man.

"I don't think your father would approve of a relationship between us," L murmured when the Light's face was only an inch from his own. "Given our age gap…"

"I don't care," Light crooned. "I only care about you." The teen captured the detective's sweet mouth in his own once more.

So this is what Light Yagami was truly like, L thought as Light's tongue slipped into his mouth, and the teen's slender fingers became caught in the detective's messy hair. This was the view, beyond the mask, and in truth, it wasn't all that bad.

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 **Yes, the title is a pun. Hope you guys enjoyed!**


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